Damn it feels good to be a free agent

 

Your expectations are not my concern.

At the end of the day, I come back to this first principle.

I can only articulate my own experience; for good or ill this the palimpsest that my work slips through to become comprehensible to you.  

I can only describe the reality I experience, the walls I can’t get over and the ones I can, which frequently have – or seem to have – very little overlap with many of you.  So be it.

Since I can only describe the contents of my light cone, it’s not going to be unnecessarily bright and cheerful. All of my hope is hard won and hard earned.  It does not come easily or casually.  Often, hope is only arrived at through careful, calculated, mental upkeep and hygiene.  (Neuro hacks IOW)

Even when I’m not discussing gender or sex or sex work, it’s all there mentally, all the time. It’s my normal.   Since it is my normal, it is only natural to quilt from it.

Telling me not to do these things is both a waste of your time, as well as my own. 

My world is one of dependence (mostly on people, almost entirely on very unreliable people), desperation, and calculated movement.   I don’t really get anywhere save through these pre-motion calculations.   My view is constantly that of one looking up from below.  

In my world there are few people and fewer connections with those people.   Most normal human interactive activity I get from the internet, from work, or via hacks through my own efforts. Save in very rare instances I don’t really have backup. My day to day is a solitary one.  

So, you may not like this canvas; there are large parts of it I despise but you know I wasn’t consulted.  No one chooses to be abandoned by society and forced to become a very skilled survivor.

So, criticize if you must, attack if you will, but if you want me to write about "sweetness and light" …

Then support my fucking work and help me get the fuck out of here.

Otherwise, be quiet.  If you have nothing to contribute I have no time for you.

Time is the most valuable commodity I possess.

 

The newness of all this has worn off, now I just see my goals and am working out how best to achieve them.

I am presently in a place where I would rather submit one piece to thirty places until I find the right fit than just shotgun thirty pieces out into the void to see what sticks.   In the main I just want to do some good y’all.  I am SUPER happy to work with others to do that, but quite prepared to keep going on my own indefinitely.  But I am not here to play games or fuck around with egos that need stroking or those who feel a need to gatekeep their tiny little sandboxes and other such bullshit.

IG @scarletmaenadum

Twitter @dreaminggynoid

https://linktr.ee/GwenScarlet

Buy the Maenad a coffee   

  https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Maenad

 Buy the Ishtar Cycle from Lupercalia press

https://www.lupercaliapress.com/shop/p/the-ishtar-cycle-by-the-maenad





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