The Maenad's Bone Garden

I indicated there might be others. This one's still fresh. You were the last person I spoke to you goddam dirty bastard how dare you turn out to be dead   Hey man Your death I think I got some of it on me Hey brother Your suicide I think you left some of your Death with me It’s … not something I need. No, please, it’s okay. Don’t leave. Leave your ghost with me I will try to see to its keep. Dear Goddess, all this death is starting to get heavy It wears on me Is this how we become as thee Wrinkled and mean From carrying so many Dead bodies? How do you do it? How do you look so clean?   I have a message for another Dionysus Tell him The Maenad said FUCK YOU The mad one will understand I think. Dio knows I’m blaming the taking Of (REDACTED) on he, and his blessed Propensity for drink Fucking give your drunken whiplash ministrations to me You ….. Shutting up on advice of divine counsel I’m taking a seat Hollow agai...

  from Maenadum vol 1 number 2 I'm a bit closer but I am very much still making good on these obligations.  Aren't we all?

Necrophobia is zero  Water, the arena, the medium,   through which you reach through to the other Wasting away in some hot Atlanta outlier Too weak to stand Can’t leave the house anymore Why did I not reach out to you more? Fear Fear to stand Stupid toxic dumbass fear ‘my love is toxic’ you said and so it seemed Goddammit How many people do I know who died from HIV? Why so cruel memory?   A life so quickly wasted and wasted and then now gone Who else remembers? Who else could see? Goddammit This is fear is what has happened to me I hope however this is not My only source of empathy For you my friend, gone long beyond the sea Boil me in oil your name is lost to me  I’ll bet you run a mean game Of Changeling: the Reckoning This  is the last of the Letters to Dead People this week though _maybe_ there will be more, just not this week.   This week is always a bit rough for me and moreso since The Powers That Be have opted to turn this into Trans ...

 I wrote this for TDoR last year. I make no great claims to it's quality as a piece of work but this was not about that.  - M. Another Saying Good-bye  ( Dauun) I had a dream about you You’re mostly the product of my head now you see Two weeks and out Thirty years of ambiguity I saw a little what if An imagined visitation Had you broken the curve like me And made it past goddam 33. Not what I   - or you maybe Expected but never rejected. Very Norwegian power dyke.   Nice, but you.   First memories, last.   All speak to the power, screaming, of what could have been and maybe somewhere could still be In some kind of real Alternate world capacity.     I dream not of the bad times now, or all the bad things Also, not just on what could not be But instead – I dream only of you now, just out of bed Having somehow gotten better from being dead And stopped by for coffee, to see what things bring I am ...

Letters to Dead People - is pretty self explanatory. All of these are old, composed sometime last year or before.   Most of them wound up in my Bergman sub, which was largely ass,  and so needs to stay confined to a file cabinet.  Most but not all.   September to November is always the time the many ghosts I have accumulated seem the loudest, for various reasons.   These past few years it seems they have spoken louder than the living.  I'm having a really hard time writing _anything_ right now so this is as much a one foot in front of the other / get to the next screen thing as anything else.     All of these are a good bit more primitive than what I've been doing lately so it seems weird to share them but .. whatever.   I'm thumbing my nose at the uncaring universe just by posting this.  There will be at least two others in this series this week. I may just post them all today rather than ride the anxiety rails ...