Capitol Hill Goddam

 

(Short “essay” / Humor)

Capitol Hill Goddamn.

When did I turn into such a California hippie?

For months now the mainstays in my fridge have been

- Kefir (every morning)

- Hummus (usually two or three kinds - I really should make my own again as I’ve not done that since moving in)

-multiple kinds of guacamole

- various middling expensive juice blends

- two different containers of cold water

- Gatorade and other nutrient replenishers

- giant tub of Greek yogurt

- half a package of hash browns from Trader Joe’s

- a quarter remaining serving of bulgogi, sushi, or a poke bowl that needs to be et

-3 different bags of coffee beans that need grinding

- a giant container of oats in the back for some reason

- lots and lots of condiments, most of them hot and/or bitter

- 3-6 discreet containers of various qualities of coffee creamer

- a container of ground coffee

- 2 slices of sour dough bread shot through with jalapenos and junk, slowly petrifying

"Bonus" points for being a Bay Area California fridge person

- two vials of estrogen in a bag in the crispr

- two containers of flavored cream cheese that will not survive long

- two different cans of whippits spray foam whip cream

PLUS

- canned goods from Tjs and Whole Paycheck that have been sitting there since move in

- a completely empty freezer

At some point in the last two years I seem to have become a granola hippy health food nut who doesn’t eat much.

From California

Well shit.