The Maenad's Bone Garden

I would be mourning the death of the indie press but seemingly they've all decided to stick their heads in the sand like everyone else.    The trans pubs are especially the worst - Complain, quietly, but do nothing.    But publish nothing that is not safe and happy.   Very middle-class.  It's offensive this attitude.  Anyway, who cares.    The Fifth Issue of Maenadum dropped earlier this month.   I wanted to take this opportunity mention the Notebooks series that we have been producing for a few years now.    The Maenad’s Notebooks are transcriptions of the contents of my personal journaling that has not seen processing, production, and publication elsewhere. Not complete work, this attempts to capture the essence of a working creative’s “desktop environment” over the course of a VERY eventful year under heavy duress. Freedom Year One - a year in the life of a Maenad This publication features work inspired by the Wri...

  Mad pride and mad as hell, The Maenad returns with a fifth installment of the Maenadum zine. One year into the so-called “resistance” and it has failed us. Those of us with mental health conditions, the disabled, the neurodivergent, and the gender nonconforming are facing an onslaught, largely invisible in the face of the ICE gestapo. The coup d'état of the so-called United States remains unopposed save by those directly on it’s front lines – black, brown, poor, and immigrant communities across the country, law abiding people by the thousands have been abducted off the streets and shipped off to black sites and prisons in foreign dictatorships. And yet no one yet is hunting suits.  We remain, defiant, under siege, waiting for the thugs to come to our door. Maenadum , a voice of mad pride and neurodivergent, queer rage, returns with our fifth ‘zine, written over the last two years – basically since Biden turned the cops loose on the kids (you know, again). Spannin...

  While I am in _no way_ comparing myself to the Grand Dame, I ran across this and I thought my own version would be ....maybe insightful, definitely funny.     Formatting borked because I'm still using Blogspot but I think it's pretty comprehensible.    Why are blogging platforms married to weird one and three quarters space bullshit?    The preview is so spread out it makes baby Jesus cry and go WTF google?  You can kill kids but you can't fix this?  Losers.  The Maenad Morning Routine  Wake up (stuff) Get out of Bed Go to the bathroom Sit on the bog and contemplate the void until you are done Come back to bed - return to bed and get back up in 45 minutes or Get up Boot up the computer (Industry) Go to the bathroom again Make bed and tuck in plushies Put on glasses Put on any clothings from the bed adjacent pile that suit your that-moment sensory needs Get meds, -either put on coffee and get something to drin...

A tiny Book Completion Breakfast for the Maenad today.  (posted with a slight delay)  Finally put the Space Girl's Guide to the Empress Imperium  (available soon!  Releasing later this September) to bed I am glad I thought to budget for this, especially in light of this month’s rent increase!  Good times!   Anyway, I made a nice, large, cooked breakfast with proper ingredients and junk.    Delicious cod and polluck filets with an olive oil, garlic and a mix of cayenne, paprika and crushed red pepper  a dash of sea salt to finished On the side we have...vegetables I needed to use up.  Some sliced carrot, and partial bags of both broccoli and cauliflower (I know that never happens right)  chicken bouillon, a bit of msg, dill as fuck, pepper, garlic salt, onion powder,  some packet noodles to replace the sudden “Oh shit I thought I had those” 4 minute egg noodles I was going to use (fish was almost done!) some olive oil to make th...

 Most recent  published work - Alienation & Hue in Unstable , available from Querencia Press.   Two images from Unstable (2025 Querencia Press) Unstable (2025, Querencia Press) If you wish to support the artist  patreon ko.fi  itch.io pay pal  venmo also my most recent collection is still available, electronically and in print, from kith books Flying the Jolly Scarlet, Gambling with the Gods:  Depositions on Capitalism, Piracy, Death, Money, Sex, and Work Print e book My erotic liberation collection the Ishtar Cycle , published in 2021 by Lupercalia press is now available from our online stores patreon link   Ko Fi link Socials  BSky   Instagram    

  Gwendolyn Harper (She/They) sometimes writing as the Maenad is the author of The Ishtar Cycle (2021), and Flying the Jolly Scarlet Gambling with the Gods (2023) Their anthology work has appeared in Unstable!, True Grit, Bone Milk Vol 2 and Vulcanalia 21. Work has appeared at ZiN Daily, Writers Resist, 365 Tomorrows, the World History Encyclopedia, Beyond the Underground, and Cream Scene Carnival. She has also been published in the Fahmidan Journal, Corporeal, Troublemaker Firestarter, and Engendered. Best of the Net Nominee 2023. Columnist at Cream Scene Carnival. They have read for the Farside Review. Founder/publisher Dreaming Gynoid Studio, author of the Galaxy Black RPG Editor & Publisher of the Sub-ether zine since 2020 A queer, disabled, angry punk Goddess, Gwendolyn writes about trauma, sex, politics, pop culture, science fiction, history, space, and sex work. They have lived experience of homelessness, intimate partner violence, drug abuse and addiction as we...

This morning I was nearly wrecked by a spam email. Let me unpack that. I am however passively what google calls a “local guide” I take lots of fucking pictures and do reviews of places I go and so on. This morning I opened my inbox and there was a thing from them; it said Gwendolyn we miss your point of view! And said it had been 90 days since my last contribution – I guess that means my “new phone” has now been out of service longer than it was functional.  But we live in an era. *I* live in an era, where automated spam messages will say to me things that no one living has ever said to me Food for (particularly miserable) thought Updates  (Links in Super Special Minty Green! )   Loaded what (might) be the first (or the only) of (maybe) a notebooks (series) – I dunno.  Originally I wanted to scan in the actual pages from Fall 2022 – Fall 2023 and then put the copy over that but like most of my more interesting print/POD/digital book emulation ideas, it requ...

I don’t’ keep track of how many submissions I’ve put out. I don’t GAF. It’s a waste of time and resources that gains me nothing and can offer unnecessary, bullshit setbacks. I really don’t care about how many you’ve sent out either. Acceptances? Sure I’m happy to read about those. I can’t be bothered to mention them most of the time, it’s not news, not unless it’s a place I really wanted to see publication in or if I’m _especially_ into the piece. But I’m here for published work. Unlike, it seems, most of literary twitter, I’m concerned about the end product. Yours and mine. I want to read it. Prompts are fine. I have not “wondered what to write” in decades, and 99 times out of 100 they are an impediment to my creativity, not a source for it. Square pegs > round holes When prompts are interesting they are interesting to me on their own merits, but in that sense they are like any other source of ideas or inspiration. More often they limit than aid I do not gi...

I am delighted to share my short piece A Rising Pride of Fey Hoes, appearing in the Summer/Fall 2024 issue of Wicked Gay Ways. Wicked Gay Ways will always have a special place in my heart as it was the first publication to publish any of my literary work back in 2019.  

  ... Has been a long hard trip. I’ve had … other years as challenging as this one. 2001 when I left Texas, 2004 when I had to leave university (and San Angelo, where my kid was) as I had no where else to live, and of course 2008 when I moved to California and lost my fucking mind. All of these, rough, some voluntary, some not, hard times of ungentle transition. Many bridges are burning, even though I did not light them. All I had to do was insist on my boundaries and my needs, and let those who would not – could not – respect this, find the door out of my life. And like some of those years, this has been among the worst years of my life. It wasn’t *all* bad of course. I’ve grown, tremendously, I’ve done actual metric fuckloads of self-work this year. (You may not think it but it takes quite a bit of self-knowledge and even more courage for the Queen of Excess to admit and acknowledge when she is overstimulated.) I published my second collection, this one a CNF/Poe...

  The Ishtar Cycle is a tree growing from the roots of my own lived experiences, with ripe, succulent fruit of erotica and defiant trans joi hanging heavily from her branches. Gleeful, offensive, and unapologetic in describing the Real and the Desired, uncompromising in it’s singular vision; an experiment in high art wrought with the commonest Vulgate. This, my first chapbook collection of poetry and verse, was published in 2021 by Lupercalia Press; The Ishtar Cycle was edited by Venus Cohen and the beautiful cover and interior art are by Embry Valentino. It is now available direct from me through my patreon. Content Warnings:    BDSM, Class Warfare, Drugs, Erotica, Edge Play, Free Love, Mythology, Polyamory, Pornography, Poverty, Religion, Sex, Sacred Sex, Sex Work, Trans Joy, and Trans Liberation Not appropriate for those who think sex is dirty, that the body is dirty, and those that are more offended by talk of poverty than pornography. Slut shamers will...

  Seeking Storytellers!! Do you have a story to share about accessing healthcare? What is the goal of the project? This project aims to document and disseminate the stories of women and gender diverse people with disabilities who have accessed, or attempted to access, sexual and reproductive healthcare or gender affirming healthcare in the United States. We hope that by sharing this information publicly, we can increase understanding about the barriers that exist and advocate to ensure improved access for all. Who is eligible to participate? People who meet all of the following criteria: Identify as a person with a disability Identify as a woman (cis or trans), a transgender man, nonbinary, and gender diverse Have accessed or attempted to access sexual and reproductive healthcare, such as routine and preventative care, information and care related to sexually transmitted infections [STIs], fertility care, pregnancy care, abortion care, or have...

 I loved this album - I did not intend to listen to it in it's entirety at first sitting but it sucked my perceptions in, and did so in the best way almost immediately.   To me it is very centering and oddly calming. Like a controlled factory reset for the brain, about 11 or 12 times consecutively.   This is a unique and highly experimental sound and I dig it a great deal.   It's wonderful.  Trans Dimensional Beings on Soundcloud

Lupercalia Press has (formally) folded. Which means that my first publication, the Ishtar Cycle, is now completely out of circulation.   While I suppose I could try to find another publisher to keep it in print, it's not like it's going to sell monstrously better just because it's got a new publisher. I will, however, be selling (ha!)  digital copies as soon as I can get a storefront set up.  I do wonder what happened to the rest of the hard copies but honestly, it's maybe for the best that I don't think about that.

Please give this article a solid read.  The blog is a recent discovery and I have been reading it voraciously there is tremendous insight to be found here. (But then, if people listened to us, and valued our (authentic) voices over 'the familiar,' I think the world would not be in the situation it is today Content and Trigger Warnings for homophobia, transphobia, trauma, childhood abuse, shame, sex work, and (especially) our currently active culture of transphobia and anti-trans hatred. "The thing about this sort of propaganda is that even when we know it’s untrue, members of these demographics are still terrified of proving them right. One more individual who has been abused and is gay or trans or a sex worker is not evidence that childhood abuse is the cause, and yet the idea that people will say it is makes us terrified to discuss our own abuse histories openly lest they be used by bigots. This is compounded if our abusers were gay or trans or sex workers themselves, b...

 The video for the January reading from the December issue of Writers Resist has gone live. I know many of you will want to know when I'm in there - I read twice, I think fourth along and then toward the end. ALL of the pieces are good and I urge you to please watch the whole thing - I especially was fond of  Yvonne Patterson's reading of hegemony: footnotes in future history , Kathy Kremins' Ode to My Reflection in the Mirror (on just one day)   and I was completely blown away by Tara Campbells reading of Prolapse . Watch the whole reading here. 

A rant.  There are two things I’m never ever going to write unless presented with specific kinds of sell-out money – something six or seven figures. Transition narratives and some meandering plodding thing talking about how much I resent being a mother.  Each is 'the pigeonhole' – the thing that as trans people and women respectively we are "expected" to write. Fucking ew. The second one is soaking in biological essentialism and women as second class citizens. Also, I’d have to actually lie – I’d have to have been able to have a say in raising my child for me to be able to hold it in contempt. I don’t, and never have encountered a single one of those that didn’t leave me with a feeling of “must be nice to be that much of an asshole.”  My kid wound up with her Trump voting relatives for high school because birth-mom had better things to do.  Now she runs with Godslurping dipshits and wears an NRA hat.    Besides, I'm from Texas. There was NEVER a p...

 If you follow the kithbooks page on Insta, you will be rewarded by the absolutely stunning and just totally spot on reading of my poem, Column E, from Flying the Jolly Scarlet, Gambling with the Gods ( Available March 6!  Pre-orders available now! )    as read by Katherine, my editor and chief collaborator on this project.   I think she put the story up late last night or this morning.  I am not *super* familiar with navigating that aspect of Insta tbh but if you are following them it should be right there at the top of your feed.  Maybe one or two back (or more if you're following a bunch of active accounts).    Give it a listen, it's amazing!    By the way, if you go to the Get in Touch page on the kithbooks website, there is a montage at the bottom of the page that just makes me giddy happy.   

 So much on my plate now.... the second (full) issue of the Viridian Door dropped a few days ago. What kind of editor am I? (Rhetorical question - save those cards and letters thanks.) Get it here by scrolling down and clicking on the lovely issue 2 cover by Syreeta Muir.  Be sure to check out her work within the issue as well! the Viridian Door To download it directly walk thorugh the Door by clicking here, though some people are apparently having a problem with this. We're researching the problem. I suspect Google is being Google.  As always back issues and more about the Viridian Door on our website.    https://theviridiandoor.wixsite.com/main

this is a cool magazine. (Not just, or even because I'm in it. Okay yea that helps but not what I'm talking about. At all.) But I am banging the proverbial joy buzzer about being in any way part of this action. rather literally now that I think about it. hah     *a chorus of squeeing weasels* Read it my children.   Not just this one, but read it all.    Cream Scene Carnival the Maenad is reforming the pink ladies as a mob.  And she's pissed.